Roxanne Frothingham
November 13, 2008
J.Miller
Eng.111
Faye’s Struggle To Get Out
I would like to talk about the difficulties of escaping an abusive relationship. Most people may think it is easy to just pack your bags and leave, but there is a whole lot more to it. I have interviewed my step mother, Faye, about her struggles with trying to get out of a world full of abuse from the man she called her husband.
Faye was only 18 when she got married to the man she thought was her knigt in shining armor. His name was Wayne, and he came and swept her off her feet. Faye says that things were perfect at first, but after a year into the marriage, things started to fall apart. Wayne had become more controlling over small things such as, Faye’s clothing, he told her she couldn’t have a job, and he tried to isolate her from her family and friends. Faye became pregnant after a year and a half into the marriage. Faye said things only got worse form there. Her husband, Wayne, tried to push her out of a moving vehicle while she was pregnant because he said Faye was too fat and he did not want to look at her. The only thing that kept Faye from falling out was the seat belt. Faye said : “I wanted to leave him, but every time I tried, he would threaten to find me and kill me.”
After having a child, Faye thought things would get better. Wayne only became worse. He was not only physically abusing Faye, but he started with the child. A boy, named Alex, who was so innocent and small, was being abused by his father. Wayne had set a fire cracker off in Alex’s ear, leaving him permanently def for in his left ear. Faye says that Wayne would beat on her son and she would try to stop him, but he pushed, kicked, and punched her in areas where no one would be able to see. Faye said: “It was like a nightmare that wouldn’t end.”
After Faye was almost murdered by her husband, she decided it was time to seek help. Wayne had put a knife to her throat and threatened to kill her. Faye went to her parents, but Wayne would just find her. The police did not want to help, and Faye had no friends to go to. She finally had enough and she packed his belongings and threw them on the porch. Faye had the cops make sure that Wayne would not come near the home. Faye filed for a divorce and went through years of custody battles in court. Faye said: “It was not easy for me to get out, especially with Wayne following me and threatening to kill me.” Faye explained how hard it was to see her child go through the abuse also. Not only one child, Faye had another boy a few years after.
Faye finally got full custody of the boys after 4 years of struggling in court. Faye got re-married to a man named Richard a few years after and she says: “He is wonderful and he never puts me in danger.” Faye explained that it was hard for her to trust at first, but she has learned to not be afraid. Faye says the experience has made her stronger and has helped her to be a better mother. Faye has a good job, a wonderful marriage, two beautiful boys, and has also taken in a foster child. Faye said: ” I want to be able to help others’ especially children, who have struggled. So, I became a foster parent, and I have a teenage foster daughter who I love as if she were my own.” Faye said that getting a divorce was the best thing she has done for herself and children.
I have also interviewed her son, Alex, and he opened up and told me how hard it was to see his mother being abused. Alex says that going through the abuse has made him keep his guard up around people. Alex also talked about his struggle with trusting others. He said that his mother is “loving, kind-hearted, out going, and over protective. She always keeps me safe.” Alex also said: “My mom has been through a lot and now she is happier then she has ever been.”
Abusive relationships are hard situations to be in. After interviewing Faye, I have realized that it is easy to fall into, but hard to get out. Faye is doing a lot better in life and has done all she could do to make things better for her children. Fays says: “I am much stronger now and I see things clearer and I try to lead my children in the rigth path.” I hope this essay can give other’s a new perspective on abusive relationships. I also hope this can help encourage other’s to get out befor it is too late.
